mine, but his

when most of the times we thought we have the freedom to explore life, we often forgot that we are not on our own and we can never be on our own.
21 is just a number. it sets a time-limit, a key to the anticipated 'freedom' from teen life, a life controlled by an authoritative figure in the house; the parents. and thus many of those out there start running their life on their own terms and measures and at ease to the knowledge of not having to abide to the parents' own set of rule. this is more common in the west as observed because from what i can see and personally experienced, the eastern world is more family bounded and thence unless ure married(for girls) or still live under your parents' roof, you will still need to play the game within the limitation set in the house, regardless how old you are.
i used to think i was old enough to live on my own. and to make my own decisions. and to make my own mistakes. that is then i could learn from it and grasp as much values there are from the immediate result of my blunders. after all, a lesson is best learnt through experience as some had said.
and thence i started my own journey in finding my adventure in life. i mysteriously swim into the dark to unveil the lights underneath them all in hope of new discoveries.some excites me, some upsets me and most of the time i am indifferent due to the rapid changes that i most of the times find it hard to digest and cope with.
family is the best part. and one day if i will be blessed with my own kids, i will want them to undergo what i went thru with all the support n love from my family. my mother once reminded me, you can do what ever you want and discover all the potentials in life but just remember whatever you do, dont drag your dad into hellfire.
i clearly understood her. this life is mine, not hers. but whatever is mine is automatically my dad's. and untill the day i will be handed to a man called husband, my dad will be the one to bear my sins.
sometimes i think that life is not fair. i want to experiment with all sorts of things around me. i want to explore into spaces of probabilities and try to do the impossibles. i have so much things going on in my mind and the phrase we are only young once keeps on recurring in my head. i have lots of the i want to and i would love to in my list but how could i do that if whatever my action today will cause miseries to my dad later.
oh well i guess im not all that brave and mysterious after all. 21 is just a literary key to freedom. well practiced even in my family but truth is, there is no such freedom. i am a daughter. put a daughter in front of her dad, and she'll behave. put her behind the dad and she'll start to misbehave.and put her where she cant be seen, how badly can she be?
i fall into the same typical scenario. but one thing that keeps me on the ground, i dont want to be unfair to dad. sometimes being away widens your perspective. in my case, makes me wiser in my judgements. living where temptations are irresistable and the only barrier between you and it is yourself, keeping a deep thought of your parents especially your dad helps you stay on the guided path. moms got all the credits of us children doing so well where often, dads were forgotten. why dont us daughters start to remind ourself about how lucky we are to have a manly figure in our life as a hero. he who could and would do anything for us. and us daughters, lets start to not just picture ourself in our judgements. for dads are the ones who will be paying the circumstances.
21 is just a symbolic number. nonetheless, we daughters are forever bounded to dads' rules. because the lives that we live are not just ours, but also their's
this life i live is not just mine, its also his.